A – Attitude Problems. The hormones that come along with pregnancy are CRAZY. One moment I’m up, the next I’m down. Question me if you dare, I will indeed just bite your head off.
B – Bump and Booty. An obvious one, the bump on the belly grows whilst the booty disappears and becomes flatter and flatter, this might just be to do with all the ‘sitting around’ I seem to be doing. Either sitting at my desk or sitting up in bed with heartburn is truly ruining my beloved behind.
C – Crying. Like I’ve mentioned in my Pregnancy Updates crying is a daily thing now I’m pregnant. Although, I probably cried daily beforehand, I’m just a sensitive soul you see. But now I’m crying over the fact that I’ve ran out of ice lollies or a cute cat video. Anything will set me off.
D – Diabetes. Jesus Christ, have the midwives and doctors thrown this word at me a thousand times this pregnancy. I have had FOUR GT tests in this pregnancy. This is because of the high amount of glucose I seem to have in my urine, I tried to tell them countless of times that I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY. Yet they make me do the awful none-eating-12-hour-blood-tests over and over again. My local midwife has put her foot down and written in giant letters in my maternity notes “NO MORE GT’s” (She is an angel sent from heaven)
E – Elastic Waste Bands. Anything stretchy will be your friend during pregnancy. My go-to item of clothing in leggings, not even maternity ones, just normal leggings that will sit under your bump nicely. Jeans are so uncomfortable and stiff; I can live freely in leggings. I will most likely carry on wearing them long after this pregnancy is over.
F – Farts and Other Stuff. There seems to be a lot of extra gases lurking around inside a pregnant woman’s body, so don’t blame us when a little something slips out…
G – Gaviscon. The lord and saviour that is Gaviscon… Actual liquid magic. I just glug it straight from the bottle now.
H – Hiccups. This one occurs for both myself and the baby growing inside of me. I think I’ve worked out why I get hiccups so regularly, I think it’s because I don’t breathe proper breaths, that my lungs don’t inflate and deflate correctly, especially when I eat or drink. Or perhaps it’s the fact I eat so quickly I just forget to breathe all together…
I – Irritated Nipples. These sensitive fuckers that will begin to bring you daily annoyance of itchiness.
J – Jugs. Your breasts may never be the same again, I warn you. They’ve changed so much already and I haven’t even got a baby suckling on them yet… oh the glamour in pregnancy.
K – Kicking. I never thought about just how much a growing baby kicks inside you before pregnancy. I imagined it was just a ‘here and there’ type of thing, not a every 3 minutes kind of thing. At first it if very sweet and reassuring, but sometimes it just like “okay get out of my ribs you fool!”
L – Libido. Some women feel sexy during pregnancy, whereas others won’t let you near them with a barge pole. Especially in the first few weeks where all we’re doing is spending our time vomiting anything we eat back up into the toilet bowl. It’s not a flattering experience. Others are just too physically drained to get down to action.
M – Morning Sickness. The pain to almost every woman’s pregnancy… constant nausea or in my case actual hourly vomiting. It made every day awful and unpleasant to the point where it attacks your mental health. I was soon put on medication for my sickness and it helped me greatly in the first two trimesters.
N – Names. You know before you get pregnant you say “if I ever had a child I’d call it ….” Well, when you actually have to call a child that you will suddenly hate on that name for the rest of your days. We still have absolutely no clue on what this little chaps name is going to be. I feel like he might be called Baby Zea for life…
O – Oxytocin. In other words, the ‘love’ hormone. All that lovely goodness that swims around your body due to being pregnant whilst your breasts get themselves ready for baby. It’s said that it effects emotion, in the way that it encourages you to relax and bring on ‘pro-social behaviours’ (which I thinks fancy talk for horny).
P – Pee. And lots of it. First you start of peeing on sticks, then gradually over time you’ll be peeing in every public restroom you come across and maybe even a little in your knickers when you sneeze!
Q – Quintuplets. Surprise! We’re actually having five babies!
I couldn’t think of anything for Q.
R – Reflux. I thought I suffered with bad reflux before pregnancy, boy I couldn’t have been more wrong. This is like pure stomach bile that crawls up your neck and into the back of your throat to the point you could actually vomit.
S – Stretch Marks. Apparently stretch marks are hereditary. So if your mother got them there’s a high chance that you will too. I haven’t had any appear on my belly or bump yet but I do now have an army of deep purple sea-worms that have took pride place all over my boobs.
T – Time. God have I banged on about ‘time’ a million times this pregnancy already. It goes SO quickly that you don’t even have time to shit. In all seriousness though I’ve got 5 weeks and 5 days until the due date. The scary thing is I know time is going to go even faster when he’s here!
U – Ultrasounds. One of the best parts of pregnancy, getting to see your little black and white blurry blob on a screen wriggle around in front of your eyes. These are the lovely moments that make everything seem so ‘real’.
V – VIP. Very Important Person. You may not feel like one but everyone everywhere seems to be going out their way to help you or make you feel more comfortable. There will be people offering you seats, letting you skip both toilet queues AND shopping queues. I feel like I could have took more advantage of these past few months, but I always feel so bad because I don’t feel like I need the special treatment.
W- Waiting. I haven’t got to the annoying ‘waiting’ part of pregnancy which I can imagine starts to happen around week 37/38 when you become ‘full term’ and the midwives tell you it could be any day in the next 4 weeks. Imagine waking up everyday thinking “is today the day?!” or questioning every little twinge or niggle and wondering if its the start of labour. Can’t wait for that paranoia…
X – ‘X’citing. (Kind of cheating with the X thing) but excitement is certainly ahead, I can’t wait to hold this little squish in my arms and show him off to the world.
Y – Yoga. Yoga, pregnancy yoga. Some say it helps, I say every ‘move’ makes me feel like I’m about to give birth any second. It’s too much leg stretching and squatting for my liking!
Z – Zzz… Sleep, I’m just about surviving on around 10 hours of sleep a night, and then that’s usually topped up by an evening nap with Bradley when he gets home from work. I don’t think these dark early evenings help, they seem to make us want to sleep more.