How I Built Up My Confidence

Being shy is something just about everybody deals with and hates. “Why me?” is a question I repeatedly asked myself. It seemed to me that everyone was happy to talk in front of the class, spoke loudly and had more friends than people under the sun. It just felt so unfair, and to be honest that’s the way it stayed all the way through secondary school. I applied for sixth form near to the end of school and got accepted. Luckily around a week before school was over I thought to myself “why the fuck am I CHOOSING to stay here for another two years?!” I quickly buckled up my ideas applied for college and got in effortlessly, and that was and still is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I suddenly and almost magically completely changed as a person when I started college. I was doing the one subject which all of my passion went into. Shortly after college began I became the person I was truly hoping to find. A more confident version of me, and I loved her. So here are my top tips to becoming less shy and a happier you…

Me and some classmates on our final evening show

1. Believe in yourself

This is a difficult one, everyone tells you to do it but you just can’t find it deep inside you. Firstly you NEED to be doing what you love. If you find yourself doing computer programming just because your parents said “it’ll get you places and there’s plenty career paths to go down” but your dream is to become a successful dancer, then fuck them, seriously. I almost made the mistake of following my father’s passion in interior/architecture design. Just because your parents are great at something, doesn’t mean that it’s your “something” to. If you want to dance, then you dance.

2. “You’re never going to make it” Comments

You will make it. Trust me, if you start believing in yourself, and putting all effort into what you want to achieve, it will happen. One teacher at college used to tell us “there’s to many photographers out there, you can’t ALL be successful”. I say we can, everyone has different heights of success, everyone has the potential to become the best person they can, and when you reach that, you’ll know, and you WILL be successful. The reason people will tell you that you won’t make it, is because they’ve failed and gave up themselves.

3. Be friends with all (yes even the twats)

When you’ve had one on one conversations with everyone in your class/work area you’ll find your confidence increases. You’ll know everyone and they’ll know you, therefore you won’t feel as nervous/shy when having to speak to them again. This goes the same with any kind of situation. By talking to people closely you’ll find out their weaknesses too, and yours will then feel a lot smaller.

4. Push yourself

Speaking in front of large groups was my complete nightmare. But after pushing myself a few times, and keeping all my fear buckled up inside. I quickly learnt that it wasn’t all too bad… Because honestly everyone dreads making of fool of themselves. I quickly became the first to volunteer to speak in front of the class, if you do mess up, people will forget by the time everyone has spoken, there will be nothing to worry about. 

5. Be happy

People like to know happy people. They love to surround themselves with them, hoping some happiness will rub off on them. Keep a smile on your face, you will seem welcoming and friendly. Also being happy will make you healthier, make you see life in a different light and overall improve your quality of life. 

Being shy sucks and breaking out of your shell takes time and effort, it seems easier just to stay shut away. But breaking through will honestly help you find yourself, you’ll know where you belong and you will be the happiest you could have ever imagined.